Studying.

It should come as no surprise to anyone that medical students spend most of their waking hours (and many of their should-be-sleeping hours) studying, but I must admit, nothing I have done in the past has prepared me for the sheer volume of material which will be tested on my first exam on Friday. I think I've studied more in the past five days than I did in my entire undergraduate career, and that includes the nightmare that was physical chemistry.

Example: Yesterday, I spent 9 hours reviewing 11 genetics/molecular biology lectures. That included 285+ pages of lecture notes as well as textbook problems. By 8 PM I was so exhausted I could barely keep my eyes open.

I'm not complaining, exactly; I knew coming into this that I'd be devoting all my time to studying. I've thus far managed to take Friday evenings off, but I don't know if I will continue to be able to do so once things really pick up.

There is a part of my brain which is teeming with barely-contained panic, ready to burst out at any moment. It's quite possible that a lot of the pressure I'm feeling is self-induced, but it's hard not to feel a bit anxious when, while reviewing a section of material with classmates, I realize that I'm behind on learning the details of X, Y, and Z, and that X, Y, and Z are very likely to appear on the exam, and that I only have a limited amount of time to learn X. Y, and Z because I still have to learn A through W as well. So, the panic is mostly contained, but I've had some stomach-churning moments...

Speaking of, it's time to get back to work. Blah.